A lot has happened since my last post here. I moved to my current location at the beginning of June 2018 for work over a summer. I ended up staying and I'm still living here. I had a lot of work this entire time, almost too much sometimes. I eventually became stressed out, got sleeping problems and when I decided to start studying for my very last course to finish my bachelor's degree (I took a break when I started at my new job here) it got worse. Eventually I was able to cut down on hours at my work which helped a lot and I was able to focus more and prioritize better amongst studying, working and my free time. I still managed to squeeze in some gaming here and there which was a great relief.
During the time I've lived here, my laptop was sent for service a couple of times and then the pandemic hit. My computer stopped working again, but because of the global situation I have no way of getting my laptop repaired this time. Imagine being a gamer for decades and suddenly one day you can't even play the simplest of computer games, it's been rough. I am SO thankful that I bought a new phone before this happened. I've been doing everything important on my phone this entire time, like paying my bills and doing my taxes. I've also been able to play some small phone games, watch streams and movies and hanging out on social media. I guess every cloud had a silver lining though, because I've been doing other things that I necessarily wouldn't have done otherwise. For example, I started painting. With paint. I like creating art, but I've mostly just been creating digital art, pixel art or pencil drawings. This time gave me an opportunity to paint using watercolor and acrylic paint for the first time in a very, very long time. I've also started writing again, but just a little so far. A little on a couple of book ideas that I have, but mostly poems. I've always loved and appreciated creativity but I haven't been able to focus on my own in a very long time due to various reasons. I've also had a lot of time to think during this time (less work and no computer will do that to someone like me) and I feel like I've come somewhat closer to figuring out my goals. For a couple of years I've wanted to move abroad, but the pandemic is unforunateley causing me to have to put those plans on hold for a while, and I'm not sure for how long. Right now I feel like I'm standing at a crossroad. I feel more and more like it's time to move on and I would like to move away. There is one thing still keeping me here, but I am working on letting go of that so I can move on to something new, but it's emotional for me so it takes time. On the other hand I know I could become much happier somewhere else, but the pandemic is making everything more complicated and slows things down. And here I am, standing in the middle trying to let go of my past so I can move on to my future. I can't move abroad right now, but I don't think that I wanna stay here until I can do that either, but to move within this country I would need a new job but, you know, the pandemic. I guess I will keep doing what I'm doing until a new opportunity appears.
Oh right, and about my laptop: My vacation will be in August this year and with a little bit of luck I might be able to have my laptop repaired at that time (although it is not actually certain). I REALLY miss playing games with friends, streaming, watching movies and just spending time online in general. I really hope I will have it back by the end of August! When I eventually have a computer again, I will however keep doing creative stuff irl, not just on my computer. I'm glad that I had this opportunity to re-discover things I like but haven't done in years. And I will keep working towards my goal of moving abroad, but when or if that will become a real possibility remains to be seen.
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